Engagement... Marriage... Babies... Real Housewives!

I CANNOT BELIEVE how many tv shows are about getting married, finding the dress, having a baby, buying a home. AHHH I know they aren't directly saying, "Courtney, you single loser." BUT God, I feel sort of like they are. Yes I'm single. No prospects, no babies, no houses, no wedding dresses. AND THATS OK! I don't have to be married by now! But why can't there be a tv show about something other than being with the man of your dreams and starting a family!!!

....in rich people's homes.

ALSO, I have been going through all of my CDs so I can get rid of the stuff that I don't want. I have to admit, my taste in music sucked when I was a teenager! Oh my it is embarrassing. No the creators of that music should be embarrassed! Oh God, and Something Corporate, I freaking loved that band-- THEY SUCK! 90s music, that is when music was so good! Other than the 60s of course. But the 90s oh God that stuff is so freaking amazing.

I finally watched Dirty Dancing last night! It was fantastic! No wonder everyone seems to love it. I honestly feel like watching it again.

But I probably won't.

I have so much to do, and all the time in the world, and I don't want to do any of it!! I have to sort through my entire life, and pack it all up and then figure out where I'm living in a month. There seems to be a good chance that I'll be moving to Boise. I really don't know. I do know I need to make some serious changes is in my life.

God, I have so much crap!

SO I know it has beed awhile but here is a brief and quick update:

Today I found out I have a cavity, and am getting it filled Wednesday :-(, I have a class I need to retake or get the teacher to change the grade from a C- to a C (I emailed the teacher, I'm praying she just changes the damn grade), I passed Student Teaching (YAY!!!). So 2 bad, one great. If I have to retake that class, I won't be able to teach until it's finished. Not a huge deal because I can retake it this quarter. I would like to not have to retake it for obvious reasons. I have been in school for six years, without a Master's degree. That is incredibly depressing.

In about a month I will be homeless, which is very shitty. I keep trying to work things out for apartment, but they seem to be falling through left and right. I really just want to move out of the state and get away. Optimally I'd like to get a job in Las Vegas, and move to Spring Valley, NV. It is west of Las Vegas, butted up to the hills, half hour from the strip. It would be fantastic, so sunny and warm. I'd love to convince Natalie to come with me, but that is getting more and more difficult, understandably so.

I need some sort of change, preferably one that involves me making my own money.

I'm glad to be done with student teaching, it was incredibly stressful, and less than fun on some days. But I'm going to miss those kids so much. On my last day I got many cards, a gift and lots of hugs. It felt amazing. I positively impacted some of those kids! I'm so glad I passed. God I was worried. Yet another thing to worry about now. Fuck, I need to catch a break.

ON the upside

I've lost seven pounds! In like 3-4 weeks, without changing my diet or moving. Stress can really eat away at you!

I feel sick to my stomach.

I think there is a real chance I may not pass the student teaching. I have gotten next to zero positive feedback from my CT or university supervisor. It will literally be the end of the world if I do not pass this. Like jump off a bridge and forget it all end. God, I am so petrified. Even if I don't get a teaching job, I need to pass this. Oh God what if I don't. Fuck what if I don't? I feel like I could puke at any moment, and my shoulders and neck hurt so bad, as if I have been caring around a fifty lb. bar on my back. Dear God, please let me pass. Please let me pass. Please certify me to be a teacher. Please.