When life gives you lemons....

you make lemonade! What happens if you have no sugar? How are you suppose to make those shitty little lemons into anything other than sour condiments!? I did not get the Alaska summer teaching job. NO NO NO of course not. GOD FORBID I actually progress on this fucking planet. OH and to add insult to injury, my iPod stopped working today. The one I use to workout with. Hey why not take away what little motivation I have left. I hate being "woe is me," but woe-fucking-me.

There is a job opening on ATP (Alaska Teacher Placement) for a Social Studies teacher in Sitka. It's pretty far South so it wouldn't be quite as harsh as the rest of Alaska, and it's BEAUTIFUL. That would be pretty amazing to be there. I'm sure it will fold before I have a chance to get my teacher's certification going. Because frankly, that's my luck.

I have applied to about 200 jobs in Washington now. It looks like I'll be going back home. I love Austin, but I have yet to get a full-time job here, and now I'm just wasting away money. I love the weather, it's amazing, it feels like a month-long vacation, but I think it has shown me that I want to be in Washington... I think. Frankly, I'd be willing to move anywhere on the planet if I could just have a job. I will be applying to jobs around the country, like my original plan, for teaching positions. I probably won't get any. And that would be OK, as long as I got some job somewhere, and could substitute teach in the Fall.

However, if I was forced to work in Sitka, AK, I think I could make it:

And according to The Proposal this man is from here:

You know, I could make it work.

I have so many questions though when filling out the application, I really need the help of someone from Central. Or someone at all!!

I feel like I know nothing. Every piece of information ever in my brain has left! It's incredibly frustrating. I don't think there is a Nordstrom in Sitka however, probably not even a Target!! It's an island, a BEAUtiful island. When I was originally looking up places to work/teach in Alaska, my number one choice was Sitka, but I knew it was highly unlikely because it is so small, and the majority of visitors are from Cruise ships. It would be nice though. Hard without the family of course, just like it is now. But Goose would be going with me this time. I'm never leaving without him again! And I'd have a job, so that would be a PLUS.

I miss you Goose-egg.

Alaska?

I just got an email from CWU about an opportunity to teach summer school for three weeks in Alaska! !!!! It's from June 20-July 8. $3700 and travel costs!!! !!!!! It's a remote village in West Alaska. It could be amazing! It seems like 3 weeks is about all I have to give to new places! I hope that won't always be the case. I'd really like to join the Peace Corps one day. I emailed the guy back about the job, and I hope he wants me and OH MY GOD. I'm psyched right now. Actually teach? Like real teaching??? !!!!

Damn you Netflix.

I am a Grey's Anatomy addict now! I found it on Netflix. I always tell myself NOT to watch tv shows on there because I literally turn into an addict, unable to not watch the next show. I HAVE to know what happens next. I think smoking would be a healthier addiction.

I don't think it helps that I miss home, and since they show scenes from Seattle constantly it makes me feel somewhat comforted... sort of. Or just makes me miss it more. Not sure which.

It looks like the job fairy found my address!!

AND one of my roommates came back!

AND her dog will be here!! :-) I'm very excited for that.

Tomorrow I'm looking at apartments with an apartment finder, so hopefully something great pops up and Amy will get her hot ass down here asap.

Job Fairy???

So I am very happy for my cousin Angie and her promotion, and Natalie with her's!! I too would love to get a promotion! Into a job! LOL, Congrats guys, you both truly deserve to be doing something you like! Or at least like more!

I'm ready to feel the job fairy's magical dust!

So both of my roommates are gone. One left two days ago, without telling anyone. I assume she's gone, and not dead in her room... oh God, that is a creepy and unpleasant thing to think and say. She's not, I'm sure. Oh God, now I'm thinking...

Anyways the Russian left today, with her Russian grandparents. She won't be back until after June 3rd. So not too long, but still I'm alone. AGAIN.

She also left dishes in the sink. Truly not a big deal, just slightly thoughtless, I did was her other dishes already. OH WELL. I'm certainly not going to leave them there for three weeks.

The two roommates do NOT get along with each other, which is a bummer. I think if they did, there would be more friend-like, fun stuff going on. Again, oh well. Amy will be moving down here soon enough! And it will be fun fun fun.

AND I will be getting a job, shortly. So I'll meet friends there. Hopefully.

I made that Bucket List. I think it's a pretty good one. It only has 44 things on it right now, which just simply isn't enough. Number one is indeed, about an Austin job, so hopefully I will be able to cross that baby off soon enough.

I went to Java Austin again today, to see if Amy and my buddy was there. He was. I of course said absolutely nothing to him. When did I become so shy? Oh I know, about 20 lbs ago. Speaking of which, I have lost some more weight! Woooot. I'll let you all know when I've reached, "I'm still heavy, but now I'm at least at the weight I was when I joined weight watchers." want want want. No I don't know how to type out the sound I'm looking for. It's like dun dun dun! But mopey, so want want want? No that doesn't look or sound right. But I think I'm conveying the gist.


AND Most of you know I wanted to open up a bar called, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," well I still want to open a bar, and now a restaurant! Two in one! And I want it themed. This is the theme:

50's! This is from 50's Prime Time Cafe at MGM Studios in Disney World. I went there when I was a kid and it was so much fun! The waitresses had so much sass, and you couldn't have dessert unless you finished your vegetables. I think it could truly be a hit. Or a horrific miss. But I think if I do it right, it'd be a hit. I thought of plates I'd serve too.

• Mom's Famous "Made With Love" Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls
• Dad's Favorite Blueberry Casserole 
• Grandma's Leftover Turkey Noodle Soup
• Dad's Eggs, Bacon and Extra Crunchy Hashbrowns
• Marsha's Best 8 Layer Salad

Stuff like that. I'd also want some sort of Macaroni and Cheese dish. There would be a whole dessert menu of Mom's stuff. There'd be a bunch more obviously. But I like what I got so far. So if anyone has any ideas, please share them! 

Who wears short shorts?

You know the saying, "waiting for the other shoe to drop." What happens when you have no shoes? They are completely off your feet. You're barefoot. When can you put them back on? What did I do in this life or the last, that has made present day so jumbled? Yes I know, I am luckier than those kids in Africa, and about three billion other people. But what about those assholes that are insanely RICH and have these great lives? I don't even need to be rich! I just need a regular ole job! Teaching preferred. FOR GOD'S SAKE I WANT TO BE A TEACHER! Doesn't that mean anything? Clearly I need to send some more good energy out in the world. If I can't work, I might as well volunteer. Crap. I need a job bad. I am running low on fume(nd)s.
If life won't throw me a job, how about a boyfriend? Or the in-my-price-range-nice-apartment? How about some serious weight loss? How about a FRIEND!?
Seriously, what did I do?
I hate having to try convincing myself that life will get better. My tunnel is getting so cloudy. I thought Austin, was clearing this shit up. Evidently it is going to take a little more than sunshine.


On another note. I have been walking 4.2 miles of trail everyday. GO ME. And I check out everyone, I feel like a peeping Tom or something. There are some to die for men on the trail. And women for that matter. I'm constantly comparing myself, which truly gets exhausting. I believe if I keep this up, one day someone will compare themselves to me, the way I do to other women. Lucky me...? ANYWAYS

On the trail I see these two things constantly:

I really want to try these shoes. I can't imagine they are comfortable, but there are more and more people (mostly men) wearing them. They look so crazy.

AND THESE. I got this picture from the web... if you look at the little logo on the LEFT, it's obvious they're popular in Austin. I believe I am the ONLY woman in the city that does not own a pair. I'm feeling very left out. I tried some on at Nordstrom, and frankly they are too short for my comfort zone. So because of that I am growing a beautiful mid-thigh tan line. However, I am happy about getting some sun. I think this is the tannest I have been since... Freshman/Sophomore year of college? Maybe even longer.

And I'm going to create a Bucket List. #1 FIND A JOB IN @#$%ING AUSTIN, TEXAS!!

@#$%!!!

This is the most depressed since I've been here.

How the %@#&!? am I suppose to get a job, if I'm qualified for nothing. I'm barely qualified to serve food. This is so unbelievable. I'm going to bed, and possibly bawl my eyes out.

I'm so angry right now! The last thing I want to do is talk to ANYONE about my job search.

I hate being told, "Welcome to Life" or "Congrats, you're a grown-up." How is being way over educated and unemployed have anything to do with life or being a grown up? It sure seems to me that every "grown-up" I know has a job! WITH LESS EDUCATION THAN ME. This economy is bull@#$%.

Everything is bigger in Texas.

I need to learn Spanish as soon as possible. Like conversational Spanish. Everyone EVERYONE seems to be Mexican or Hispanic around where I live. And they are all so short! I'm in Midgetland. I have no problem being in Midgetland, they are all so polite and nice, but I need to learn the language. People say immigrants should learn English, because the United States speaks English, this makes sense, and I mostly agree, HOWEVER I feel like I'm no longer in the U.S. and am slightly rude to not know the home language... crazy huh!?

I walked/jogged 4.2 miles today, I am so proud. I have really been working out more than every before. Not like intense workouts, just jogging and walking on the trails, but it doesn't even seem like working out, it just is fun! I have already lost a few pounds. I'm eating alright, not amazing, but better than I was when I was at home. I really believe this could be a turning point in my life. WHICH I AM SO READY/EXCITED FOR!

Who knows, I could lose weight... get a job... make money... find a.... MAN!? I believe! Speaking of which, every time Don't Stop Believing, GLEE edition comes on my iPod I cannot stop... BELIEVING. I'm constantly thinking about how shit is going to happen, and how I'm going to make it happen.

I am so very happy down here. It's really surprising. I think it's the sun. Who knew I was that susceptible to sunlight. "They" say that some PNWesterners have depression because of the weather, clearly I fall in that category. I think... because technically I'm medicated, so it's not 100% that it's the weather. But I think so. I'm getting some sort of natural high from the weather and working out! I've always heard of those endorphin things...

Congress Bridge BATS!

My walk takes me straight through a heavily populated/used dog park, and I have seen so many JRTs! I miss Goose so much! I know when he gets down here he is going to love it! He'll probably be a little porky from being at my Dad's so I'll have to take it slow, so he doesn't have a heart attack from excitement. I'm so excited to have my little man back. I even changed my MacBook background to be a picture of Goose and Ollie. Is it wrong to miss a dog more than people? I don't think so, he's my baby.

Don't worry guys, I miss you all quite a bit too!!!

In no particular order, here are just a couple people/animals I miss.

Mom and Goose

Goose followed here around the yard while she was mowing the lawn because she would stop and throw the ball (which is in his mouth) with the chuck-it (which is sticking out of her back pocket)! 

Dad, the day I left. I miss him. He turns 60 YEARS OLD May 19th!! Hard to believe. 

Samm and the kid, I love you both! 

Me with the most amazing woman on the planet.  

Lets get cuter! I don't think it's possible. Miss you Tai. 

They loved their outfits. 

Natalie, time to come to Texas!

As requested by Angie...

It's about time anyway.

I have not been updating this, mostly because I have been keeping my facebook pretty well stocked with information. But hell, why not.

As you all know, I drove from Lake Stevens, WA to Austin, TX last week. As soon as I got here, I cried, I mean SOBBED. I kept thinking, "God I'm so stupid for doing this. I miss my mommy! I have no friends. I live in a dump. Why do I always jump the gun!" Well not that I don't still have those thoughts, but now I'm not sobbing. I'm still pretty scared of what I'm doing. I'm also figuring out how awesome Austin is. It is truly the Seattle of the South. There are so many tattoo'd people, I'm shocked I'm in Texas. There are hippies, hipsters, college students, etc., etc., everyone but cowboys. Kind of ironic really. I have been made aware that Austin is a real melting pot of people, just as is Seattle. And similar to Washington, once you leave the Austin area you hit conservative-ville (same when you leave... the West side of Washington). This is totally fine, I don't care. Austinites also don't seem to love people from the West coast, mostly Californians, but really who does? I have been asked more than once which Washington I'm from. Dammit I'm from the best one! D.C. had to go and steal our name.... well it didn't really happen that way. ANYWAYS.

From Washington to here I made plenty of pit stops. First at Ellensburg, to Wings! Then to see Sammi and Mallie in Richland. I think I broke Jake's heart when I left. I then made it to my mom's new place in Boise. Her house is pretty cool, and actually Boise is not half bad. However I don't see my mom or Lindell staying in Boise, I was simply shocked they went with that choice. Course I can't believe they're retired. Someone is going to get killed, that's all I'm saying.

From Boise I went to Green River, Utah. And I don't know if you knew this, Utah..oans? Are crazy freaking drivers! All the Mormons live nice and calm lives at home,  and then as soon as they get to the roads, BAM they're nuts! This is my favorite picture I took in Salt Lake City. It's of the Temple. I just think it's great. The Temple is GIGANTIC by the way, and unbelievably Gorgeous.

One of the Mormon, seducers? Was telling me how spiritual this place must have made me feel... I didn't know how to quite put it that it didn't at all, not even slightly. It made me think of how historical and beautiful it was, but no, I didn't not feel God in Temple Square. This is where I did:

Moab, Utah. I got to the park at 7am, and was pretty much the only person there. It was so quiet, and clear, cold and crisp. I couldn't help but feel something more than just rocks. The park was somehow romantic. I hope to camp and hike around there one day.

I then went through Colorado and New Mexico. New Mexico pretty much freaked me out. At least the Northeast part, which is Navajo Nation. This area freaked me out because first it was desolate, dirty and depressing (A+ for alliteration). The homes were shacks, there were few resources like grocery stores and gas stations. Tons of construction work. And tons of people on the sides of the roads hitchhiking. I kept thinking, this will be where my car breaks, down this will be where something bad happens. I felt incredibly sorry and guilty all at the same time. I knew what had happened historically, but seeing it first hand was difficult. But that's half the point of moving around and visiting places. To see history first hand, to see what happened because of past events. In that aspect it was amazing.

West Texas was flat and filled with oil rigs, windmills and ranches. I would not like to live in Abilene, ugh. Austin is BEAutiful.

Austin is green, sort of hilly and warm, well hot. I however live in a college living area with two girls that don't seem to like each other. I'm just here for the ride.

There is a clear divide in Austin. West of I-35 is white world. East is non-white. I mean a clear divide, it's creepy. I live in East Austin. I'm from Washington. It's not like we're a real mixed lot. I really have no problem living in a minority area, my problem comes from how Austin seemed to forget or not care about East of I-35. My problem is that I hear sirens every night. My problem is that I think I saw a drug exchange in the park. My problem is that I'm an ignorant white girl from Washington.

I travel to West Austin every morning to exercise around Lady Bird Lake. Amazing trails all throughout the area. I'm going to be skinny one day if it kills me!

This is the view from my workout start point. Pretty sweet huh? It's super hot, but I think I'm getting used to it. I worked out in 90 degree heat today. Granted I was pretty exhausted by the end, but it was still great.

I really am proud that I'm doing this. I'm a little shocked that had the cajones to do it. As I listened to Glee's, "Don't Stop Believing" (I know, judge away) today I kept thinking, this is finally my time, I'm going to find a great job, I'm going to be happy, I'm going to lose weight, hell I might even meet Mr. Right Now. Yeah you heard me, I don't want anything serious. I want to feel awesome about the new bod I'm creating and turn a Carrie Bradshaw, or maybe even a Samantha Jones! Look out world, Austin, I'm here!

Oh and I miss Goose so bad! There are so many terrific dog parks here, and I know when I get him back he is going to be fat, and in desperate need of some exercise!

Haha, what a cutie.